I know that title may sound a little odd, but I know a lot of mums will relate to what I’m going to say. Before I became a mum, I enjoyed making the house look clean and tidy. I think it’s because I had the time to leisurely clean whilst sipping a HOT cuppa and listen to music. I emphasise the ‘hot’ as nowadays my tea is nearly always cold by the time I get to drink it. Sound familiar?! Everything I do is rushed. I reckon most things can be enjoyable if you have time to do it at your own pace. That’s why I hate cleaning now. It’s always a chaotic rush to quickly clean everything whilst trying to entertain a bored, fussy baby at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, I still like things to look nice, but I don’t feel the need to have everything looking perfect anymore.
There’s a lot of pressure on stay at home mums to “hold” the family together – physically and emotionally. This usually includes maintaining a happy and clean home environment. I think the gender stereotypes/roles are shifting though, as I know a lot of men also participate in keeping the family home clean and tidy. Big love to all you dads out there that help with the housework! Thankfully Chris is one of those people, I don’t think i’d cope without any help. Even though these gender roles are dissolving, if you like, there’s still something telling me I have this duty to maintain an immaculate home. A lot of other women also feel the same way. Strange isn’t it? I often have this tremendous guilt when the house isn’t clean, even though Chris tells me not to worry.
However, within the last few weeks I keep asking myself, why am I so worried about it? At the end of the day, yes it’s nice to have a clean house, but do I really need to worry about the crumbs behind the hob or the dirty cups on the side? No! I think it’s finally sunk in that i’m the root of my own stress sometimes. It’s easy to think, oh the baby is really stressing me out today, but actually it’s not the baby. It’s the pressure we put on ourselves to do everything and maintain this perfect housewife image. Society has taught us that we need to have this perfect home, filled with loads of “stuff”, but it’s actually suffocating at times. I sometimes think about how refreshing it must have been to live more simply and self-sufficiently, but then I remember how much I love the internet, fast food and make up…
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, we should worry less about the mess and focus on the now. I know that Molly won’t be this little for very long, so I want to cherish every moment. I don’t want to look back and think about how stressed I was, only to realise it was due to me putting myself under so much pressure to maintain this idealistic image of being “the perfect housewife’. If you have a few dirty plates on the side and piles of washing on the table, don’t worry, thousands of other mums do too!